The Blogger

 ASSALAMUALAIKUM. PEACE. HELLO.
Profile: Riham [20]---International Relations major and Middle Eastern Studies Minor.Sudanese American. Enjoys staying in and watching a good movie and snuggling up on the couch. 
Typical description right?

     Lets get real--this blog is a written expression of the world through my eyes, so its time I let you know who I am. At this point in my life, I feel as though I have grown so drastically [spiritually, emotionally, intellectually], that at times my life story appears foreign to me. Sometimes I lay down and just think for hours about how I got here. How did I go from feeling so lost to feeling found. I know it sounds cliché, but for the longest time I felt like a lost soul just wondering the world, looking for an answer. I knew deep inside that the reason for the emptiness I felt was the lack of a connection with Allah. I was born and raised in a Muslim household, but still, I could not get myself to practice Islam the way it should be practiced. Occasionally I would pray, but for the most part I lived my life according to the way I wanted to live it. I considered myself a good person, but at the same time, I wasn't following Allah's rules. 

    It wasn't until I came to college that my spiritual life was really put into perspective for me. Ramadan of my freshman year of college was the beginning of my journey to rediscovering myself. At that time, I found myself becoming close with the Muslim community at my school and soon I discovered that these people were my brothers and sisters in Islam. For the first time in a while, I identified myself as a Muslimah. After Ramadan, I remained close with my Muslim friends, although I was still in contact with my old friends. On some nights I would attend a dhikr with the Muslimah's on campus, but then on other nights I would be out with with my friends with my Muslim identity no where to be found. After a  while, I realized that I needed to choose one lifestyle over the other. 

    One night, I was given the opportunity to either stay in with my Muslim friends or to go out  with my other friends. That night I learned that it is possible to follow Islam and also enjoy what life has to offer at the same time. As my friends were getting ready to go out, I got up to pray isha with my Muslim brothers and sisters. That moment sparked a lot of emotion in me because I saw myself caught between two worlds. I realized that I was more content standing before Allah that night than I had ever been in my entire life. As time went on, I drifted away from my old friends and grew even closer to the sisters on campus. I loved learning about Islam and living life as a Muslimah. Soon, I began to pray five times a day, a ritual I had not completed for a very long time. Once I got myself to complete my prayers it seemed as though everything else just fell into place. Within a month I was wearing the hijab, something I never thought I'd be doing as a college student. 

     SubhanAllah, when people say that Allah has a plan for everyone, it really is true. Allah guides whom He wills, so even the lost can be found. I am so grateful that Allah chose to guide me and I don't even wanna think about how my life would have turned out had things happened differently. Alhamdulilah for everything. I just wanted to share my story with you in the hopes that it may help another lost soul out there.