SubhanAllah, time flys! I can't believe its been almost eight months since I shocked myself and everyone around me by deciding to fulfill my duty as a Muslima by wearing the hijab. After re-reading my first letter which I wrote during my first days as a hijabi I feel like i've come light years from where I was before. My imaan today is Alhamduiliah stronger than it has ever been and InshAllah that won't be changing anytime soon. Looking back at my first days wearing the hijab I now know that all those fears I had are gone Alhamdulilah.
My fears back then all surrounded what people would think of me. I feared what my teachers and friends would think of me but some how when it came to making the decision none of that mattered. In the past all my insecurities were because I feared what people thought of me, but my desire to please Allah surpassed all of that. Another one of my fears when it came to deciding whether to wear the hijab or not was the question in my head of whether I could maintain my imaan and whether I could wear the hijab for the rest of my life. I overcame those fears through this one quote my sister in Islam showed me that night--"do what you need to do today and let God take care of tomorrow." I simply put my faith in Allah SWT and hoped that tomorrow my imaan would be strong enough for me to wear the hijab.
Today wearing the hijab is so natural for me that I cannot ever picture myself any other way. The way I used to be is like a dream to me. I can hardly remember the old me. Sometimes I fear that I have such a distinction between myself 8 months ago and myself now that I act as though they're two different people. Like I said in my first letter, I would not be where I am today without my past sins. It took me messing up to realize that I needed to change.