Friday, December 31, 2010

 
JazakAllah Kheir Yara for choosing Beauty of Islam as one of your top five blogs of 2010. InshAllah, I hope you enjoy my 2011 posts even more :)

My top five blogs of 2010:
1) Love Always, Aisha by Ashi
3) My Life Is A Poem by Maryam Noori
4) My Amethyst by Shae Syahirah

When I log onto Blogspot, these are some of the first blogs I read. These bloggers never fail to post an interesting post to keep me hooked mashAllah.

My 2010 ❤

Alhamdulilah in 2010 I had many accomplishments, so here's a list of what I remember happened this year :)
  • Declared my major (finally)---International Affairs & Women and Gender Studies
  • Traveled to Sudan and survived a vacation without my grandfather (may he rest in peace) being there
  • Had my one year anniversary with my hijab Alhamdulilah [November 23rd 2009]
  • Renamed my blog from Peace of Mind to Beauty of Islam--best decision ever
  • Gained a new set of brothers and sisters--they taught me what it means to truly love a group of people for the sake of Allah
  • Witnessed my first conversion to Islam; Little did I know this convert would become one of my closest friends and a daily inspiration to me.
  • Deleted all the music off of my ipod like I promised Allah---Alhamdulilah one month now
  • Featured on Hijab Style :)
  • Attended the Native Deen & Maher Zain Night of Inspiration concert with the best group of people
  • Learned what it means to truly give up something for the sake of Allah
  • Learned what it means to be a stranger
  • Had a beautiful experience fasting part of Ramadan in Sudan---it's not as difficult as everyone makes it to be.
  •  Met a woman that taught me the real beauty of Islam and she touched my life, along with many others MashAllah
  • Attended the Cherry Blossom Festival in D.C.
  • Learned that people need to be loved most when they least deserve it
  • Fell in love---with Islam
I hope to have more accomplishments in 2011. From this point on, only changes for the better InshAllah ❤

Count Your Blessings Everyday ☮

Maryam Noori, is the creator of this photo with an amazing message on how we should be bringing in this new year. She is a poet and the blogger behind My Life Is A Poem. I'm a big reader of her blog and she never ceases to amaze me with her original poetry and inspirational quotations. I chose to post her 2011 photo up, rather than posting any other one because hers is different; It displays the reality behind the new year. As 2011 approaches, we need to keep in mind that we are lucky to be alive. Rather than thinking to ourselves "lets go party", we should be thinking "Alhamdulilah I'm alive, now I need to make changes before it's too late." I know I'm the first to not have this mindset, but I'm trying my best. InshAllah, in 2011 I hope to Allah SWT to strengthen my imaan, to closen my relationship with him, and to bless me in this world and the next. Ameen. I also wish the same for you.

Have a Wonderful 2011

Love, Riham

A Prayer For You, Is A Prayer For Me

1494. Abud-Darda' (radi Allahu anhu) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) saying, "Whenever a Muslim supplicates for his (Muslim) brother in his absence, the angels say: `May the same be for you too'.''
[Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith makes it evident that one who prays for someone in his absence also stands to benefit from it because the angel appointed for the task of praying for those who pray for others will pray for him, saying, "O Allah! Grant him also the same which he has asked for others.''

Allah, the Exalted, says:

"And those who came after them say: `Our Rubb! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith.''' (59:10)

"And ask forgiveness for your sin, and also for (the sin of) believing men and believing women''. (47:19)

"Our Rubb! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.'' (14: 41)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

New Years 2011 Outfit Ideas

As new years eve is quickly approaching, the question of what to wear is looming over us, right!? Well, at least for some of you who are planning to go out for New Years or to just stay in and avoid the massive crowds of hoodlums (hehe ;)) in the streets, it's important to choose a cute outfit cuz it is new years after all. Anywho, what are your plans this new years evening?? My plans are to go out with my family, have a nice dinner, (attempt) to see the fire works in D.C, and come home inshAllah. My original plans were a bit different, but I'm content with what ended up happening in the end. The fact that my plans fell through gave me the opportunity to spend a new years with my family, something I won't have the chance to do pretty soon. Here are the outfit choices I promised earlier :)

                                               Party Outfits

I've been dying for the opportunity to post this GORGEOUS look up and I finally got the chance!!!
Muy Elegente, Si senioritas muy bonitas?



Not hijab, BUT this dress is so cute, you HAVE to try and experiment with a blazer or cardigan of some sort, right?

                                                     Chillyo New Year

This look is just right, it's very simple and cute
These rich colors, turquoise and burgundy will look beautiful at night time.
Have I posted this look before? Idk, if I did, it tells you how much I love this outfit. This is probably my favorite casual new years outfit.


I'll be back after new years inshAllah with my new years outfit!


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Smile It's Sunnah ;)

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Make things easy! And do not make them complicated! Be cheerful! And do not be repulsive.” [Sahih Bukhari]

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Teach and give good tidings! Make things easy, and do not make them hard!” [Ahmad ibn Hanbal]

Commentary: These ahadith highlight the importance of being cheerful ourselves, encouraging others and making them optimistic. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim said that a believer should have two wings; one of fear and one of good hope in Allah. If a person were unrealistically optimistic, they would stop working to achieve their goals, thinking that things will come to them anyway. On the other hand, pessimism also prevents a person from acting, since they have no hope and see no good in doing anything. Therefore, as teachers we should encourage optimism at the same time that we discourage overconfidence.

The first hadith also points out that when a person is not cheerful, they do not possess the ability to draw other people to them, instead, they repel them. One of the ways to be cheerful is to smile. The Sahabah told us that nobody smiled more than the Prophet of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam). This is proof enough for us to smile.

Current research tells us that the physical act of smiling releases certain chemicals in our bodies that help us fight disease, produce happiness, and properly modulate sleep and appetite. In addition, when the brain and heart activity of volunteers was measured, it was seen that a smile gave the same level of stimulation that 2000 bars of chocolate would. Smiling encourages others to remember happy events, feel optimistic and be motivated. So, smile to make others more receptive to your message. 

It's Called "Beauty of Islam" Darn it, Not "Beauty of Riham"

It's been awhile since I've posted something strictly related to Islamic studies and I apologize. I don't what it is, maybe I've lost track of the true meaning behind the title of the blog "Beauty of Islam". My goal for this blog is to just give my perspective on life through a Muslimah's eyes and I don't want you to think that this blog is just fashion and fun, otherwise known as purely worldly matter. There's more to me than my hijab style, because in the end a hijab is just a scarf on my head. What matters is the character and inner modesty that the hijab reflects.  I was talking to my friend on the phone last night explaining to her how I'm afraid this blog is going to turn into an "ego boost", that I don't need. Ego is one of the most hated character traits in Allah SWT's eyes and I don't ever want this blog to turn into something about me only. It's called "Beauty of Islam", not "Beauty of Riham", so in order to keep that in check InshAllah you will be seeing more Quran and hadith on my page, as well as hijab posts because I want this blog to be a good balance of the two, not one over taking the other. So, for my first "Islamic" post in a while, I want to share with you a quote and ayah from the quran that I discovered which is helping me deal with one minor issue I have today.

"You don't choose whom you love. He chooses them.
If you had that choice to choose;
then the road would be simple.
Whom he puts in your life, is part of your test:
to bear with them, to accept them
and most of all to love them despite all that they may agitate you with.
After all, they come from Him and they return to Him,
just like you did and will do.
"...And We have made some of you as a trial for other: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seer" (Surah al-Furqan:20)

Monday, December 27, 2010

Some Days...you just feel like wearing a hat...with a hijab

My sista in Islam was going on vacation to Hawaii and she wanted to know one thing...if she could wear a hat with her hijab and if she could, than how? At the time, I wasn't exactly sure if a hijab and a hat would work, but after doing some research, I came to the conclusion that it is possible! (if you wear the hijab in the correct manner that is) ;)

If you read the small caption in the picture it says that the hijab and hat will work if the scarf is thin. There's some advice for you :)

Standard hijabi vacation get away look..take notes ;)
That's what I like to see! Kate Moss rockin the hijab
Out of all the looks, I think this just might be the most versatile look. It looks easy, sophisticated, and almost any woman can rock this look. Featured: Iranian Actress Elnaz Shakerdoust. 

Now the question remains, Would YOU wear the hijab/ hat combo?

Beauty of Islam is Looking for You!

Troubles Will Follow but I have to Go...I'm Free



My LOOKBOOK post of the week :)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Who Says Abayahs Can't be Fashionable?

I call this the "Nancy Ajram" abayah. haha  I don't know, but the earrings and the overall style of the abayah reminds me of Nancy Ajram in her "ah wa nus" video.
This Muslimah was actually featured in The Sartorialist and has received a lot of recognition as not many Muslim women have been featured in this blog.
A abayah you would traditionally see being worn in the Gulf.
It looks like the turban look is "in" these days? haha

Monday, December 20, 2010

There's Nothing Like the African Sun

A scarf can sometimes steal the show. Let your scarf be the accessory. (p.s. slip on an under cap to make this hijabified
Jumpsuits are a trend MADE for hijab. Try it out ladies
Saluting the ancestors: Traditional Abayah & Turban
Throw a shawl onto your maxi dress for a new twist on your typical maxi
Nope that is not a skirt, they are actually pants surprisingly. MashAllah, very modest to the point that we think it is a skirt
 
Featured: Aisha B   

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Hijabi Street Fashion

My favorite looks..more to come inshAllah








So what do you think? Do you love these looks as much as I do or is there something you think could be worn in a different way? Comment away...

Friday, December 17, 2010

Live a little, Laugh a lot

I'm a firm believer in making fun of yourself, and having fun because no one should ever take them self too seriously all the time. Here are some funny Islam cartoons, enjoy :)

haha this one is too funny, although it's probably true
???? That's all I have to say
This is not hard for me to believe at all in today's world
Alex's favorite <3
Misconception #14212: Hijab is not only the coverage of one's head, It's complete modesty.
As funny as it seems, this is how it actually happens a lot of the time and that's not a bad thing at all.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Toss on a hijab and it's a wrap

What do you think about wearing a hijab with a scarf wrapped around your neck?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart"

Inaam <3
Alexandra Aisha <3
Two sisters who love each other purely for the sake of Allah SWT
I took these photos a while back in the fall and I finally got around to posting them. The two lovely ladies featured are my friends Inaam and Alexandra Aisha. They each have their own style when it comes to wearing the hijab. Inaam is known for her hijab style, as seen in the first photo and InshAllah she will be doing a tutorial for us on how she wraps her scarf. Alexandra is new to Islam, but she has quickly learned how to style the hijab. Comfort is a number one priority for her when it comes to wearing the hijab and she styles it according to how she feels on a day to day basis. Both ladies are beautiful inside and out, and set a great example for other mahajabahs on styling the hijab.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

La vita è bella

Wanna know what my post title means? Google it. Here's a hint, it's in Italian :)
[Scarf] Lord & Taylor
[Cardigan & Top] New York & Company
[Boots] Steve Madden


I wanna learn Italian so badly ; who knows, maybe I'll get the chance to visit Italy one day InshAllah. Italy has always been one of the most beautiful places in the world in my opinion and my outfit is inspired by its beauty. The outfit I put together is my take on Italian casual fashion and the colors and prints I used are a reflection of what I imagine when I think about Italy. These thoughts come to mind when I imagine Italy; [soft champagne colors, sophistication, gold]. Enjoy <3


Ciao!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

LoveStruck: The Girls The Guys & The Gaze



  I was very impressed by this video, which was suggested to me by some close friends at school a couple weeks ago. Just hearing the title of this lecture, The Girls, The Guys, and The Gaze definitely got me thinking about all the issues we face as youth, especially living in America. It's very difficult to lower your gaze in this society we live in when every where we go we are bombarded with obscene scenes on television and inappropriate photos that pop up at us on the internet. The fact that it's difficult for us to avoid these things makes it that much more important for us to simply lower our gaze and remove ourselves from any situation that could possibly lead us to engaging in any haram acts. 
  For a while, I've heard my Muslim sisters say to each other, lower your gaze! lower your gaze! lower your gaze!, but I never knew the exact meaning of it. I always thought to myself, "umm, I'm pretty sure I don't have a problem with looking at inappropriate things," but I didn't realize that things as "normal" as checking someone out or watching shows like " The Jersey Shore" did not constitute as lowering one's gaze. I always held a double standard with the idea of lower ones gaze. I felt like guys were obligated to lower their gaze more than girls because they were the one's with the problem, but today I realized that girls have the same exact problem, maybe even worse. The difference I've noticed between a Muslim guy checking a girl out and a Muslim girl checking out a guy is that the guy appears to feel more shame, whereas the girl doesn't even realize what she's doing is haram. That's just my opinion though, I may be wrong but from what I've seen, girls have just as big a problem as guys. It was stated in the lecture that, "what you allow into your ears and what you allow into your eyes goes directly into your heart," which begs the question is your heart protected?
  As humans, it's natural for us to be in denial when we are told that what we hear and see affects us because we like to believe that we are invincible to such things. In reality, our imaan subconsciously deteriorates as we allow indecent things into our life through the music we listen to and the content we see on t.v. and the internet. 
  I don't know about you, but my imaan is very important to me and I don't want to risk losing it over something that could easily be controlled. Brothers and Sisters, lower your gaze and strengthen your imaan, don't let the whispers of shaitan get to you. Avoid the haram altogether and you will notice a change in your heart and an uplift in your faith inshAllah.
"When you eat sleep and breath from the haram, than the halal becomes disgusting." - Abdelrahman Murphy 

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."Williamson, Marianne 

Introducing Yuna Zarai

Yuna Zarai is a 23 year old singer songwriter/boutique owner from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. She has a reputation for being the young fashionista that she is, breaking barriers in fashion while wearing the hijab.



Ah Look at this color scheme! It's so calm and simple, but so chic. Everyone should have a silver scarf, it really is a necessity.



These pleated pants are a great addition to any muhajabah's closet. They are loose and extremely modest [which we love :)]



Don't be afraid to be edgy. Experiment with the hijab and [Be a Trend Setter]



Love this top. It does the job and covers everything that needs to be covered. Just pair it with looser pants and you'll be set



Have you ever tried wearing a skirt over pants? I haven't, but after seeing this look, I think it's worth a try.



What do you think about doubling the hijab up? I think it looks very bold and edgy and can take an outfit from boring to instant style. I would try this style with a bright or boldly patterned scarf to get this edgy affect.



Again with the skirt over the pants and the doubled hijab! Can this girl every do wrong. I think not.

What did you like and dislike about Yuna Zarai's style?

Monday, December 6, 2010

Confessions of a Lost Muslimah

This is a personal narrative by a girl that fell for the glitter of this world, but soon realized that it wasn't for her. She realized that Islam was the truth, that this life was only temporary, and that one day she would have to face her creator. This is her story... InshAllah, you will learn from her story and spread dawaa to other lost Muslim youth, showing them that Islam is the way.     
  As a Muslim teenager growing up in America, particularly at the ages of 16 through 18, I struggled with practicing my faith. In high school, I experienced a period of the most turmoil and doubt, torn between following the practices of my faith or the ideals of American society. I did not start wearing the hijab, or the headscarf worn by Muslim women, until the very end of my senior year, transforming from a homecoming queen to a committed Muslim woman. This drastic transition included many obstacles concerning modesty, relations with the opposite gender, and simply just finding out who I am.
As prescribed in the Qur’an, Muslim women are required to dress modestly. According to the interpretation of conservative Muslim scholars, “Tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and guard their private parts (from illegal sexual acts), and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over their bodies…” (Quran 24:31). Obeying the command to dress modestly was one of my major struggles in high school. As a 17 year old girl, I was falling for the temptations of modern clothing and in-season styles. I cherished dressing up in westernized clothes from stores such as “Urban Outfitters” and “Forever 21,” and loved having my hair straightened. My mother would often tell me that my jeans were too tight, and that I should start shopping for some looser ones. I considered it, but then came to the conclusion that loose jeans just didn’t look right. Homecoming and Prom were my favorite events of the school year, merely because I took such great pleasure in dressing up. At the time, I could not fathom giving up my passion for clothing that appealed to the American society. I lived by the quote, “When in Rome, do as the Romans.” Why not enjoy the pleasures of a westernized world if I’m living in it? As long as I lived in America, I might as well dress and act like an American.
However, during that same time period, it was during the month of Ramadan that I went to the masjid, or mosque, every night. Nevertheless, on the most important night of Ramadan, I had the senior class Powder-puff game. I didn’t even have to contemplate where I would be. I knew I was definitely not going to miss the game. That day, it was my main focus- what I was going to wear, who I was going with, what I was going to do after. Point being, I was not thinking about my faith. Looking back, this time was significant because consistency plays a major role in Islam. The fact that I was going to the masjid, every day for the Ramadan night prayers,tarawih, was great. In spite of this, the fact that I was so engrossed in a worldly matter that I did not even care about my faith, made me question whether or not I was being sincere about the month of Ramadan in the first place.
I remember arriving at the game early, huddling up with the team as we were getting excited to defeat the juniors. As we huddled up, the coach was exuberantly explaining the first play for the game. Looking around, I suddenly realized that I was dressed no different than any of my fellow teammates; black Soffee shorts, sparkly glitter, pigtails held up with orange ribbons, and face paint used for intimidation. For a moment, I looked up at the crowded stands to see all of my teammates’ families cheering them on. It was then that I remembered why my family decided not to make it that night, in which a feeling of guilt crept over me. Homecoming week was the week I had been waiting for all year, so what was there to feel guilty about? Nonetheless, I quickly pushed whatever uneasy thoughts I had away and set my mind back in the game. Adiba Aman scored her third touchdown, as each person, including myself, was growing more and more excited. I felt at ease again, reminding myself that this night was more than worth it. I was with all of my friends indulging in excitement, running across the field with them in my shorts, yelling and laughing after each touchdown scored. This is the life, I thought to myself. It seemed as if my love for such worldly pleasures were increasing, and ultimately leading to the detriment of my faith.
I was living in the moment when we won the game, celebrated at the bonfire afterwards, and continued to rejoice with the team’s victory dinner. When my night was finally over and I reached home, I opened the front door, to see my father humbly sitting on the floor, reading the holy Qur’an, embracing the month of Ramadan, giving me an unspoken reminder of the resolution I failed to keep. As I walked up to my room, the same feeling of guilt that I pushed away just a few hours ago, came crawling back to me as I entered my home. I do not even recall praying Isha before I went to bedthe last of the five Muslim prayers. I figured it would be hypocritical of me to pray, after I just spent my whole night in sin. The next day at the Homecoming football game, to my absolute surprise, I was announced the Chestnut River High School 2009 Homecoming Queen. Not only was I excited to have won the title, but I was on cloud nine because Mike asked me to go with him.
Michael Richardson was the boy whom I had really liked since middle school, and as time went on, it felt like my attachment to him would only grow stronger. It was not until my sophomore year in high school, when we started having classes together, where we really started to bond. I felt nervous yet incredibly comfortable around him at the same time. I really liked him, or at least I thought I did. I loved his hugs and the way he cared, or at least the way he acted like he cared, when I talked to other guys. I loved the way he made me laugh. And I loved being seen with him in the hall ways, letting the other girls know without saying a word that he was mine. As cliché as it may sound, he was my last thought at night, and first thought in the morning. I got ready for school every morning, hoping that maybe today he would look at me as more than just a friend.
I enjoyed our late night talks. He took great advantage of the fact that I liked him. He knew exactly what to do and what to say to make my day. He never admitted that he liked me, yet his actions genuinely made me believe that he did. He would put his arm around me in the hallways, and always interrupted any encounter I would have with another guy. It was as if he didn’t want me, but at the same time, he didn’t want me to like anyone but him, which for some odd reason, I had no problem with. The relationship I had with Mike felt so perfect. He wasn’t my “boyfriend”, so it freed me of the guilt of being in aharam, or unlawful, relationship. We never got too intimate, besides hugging, which I thought at the time, was no big deal. He was a “good guy” and he made me feel good about myself so, what was the harm in it?
During the time of my high school years, although I did not wear the hijab, I still played somewhat of a role in the Muslim community. I attended Islamic school on Sundays in which I learned more about my faith, and even developed close relationships with the sisters at themasjid. They were pure-hearted and innocent, and I couldn’t help but love them. I secretly envied their committed Muslim way of life, yet felt that I could not do the same. What troubled me the most about wearing the hijab, is that I knew it would change my life, and I was afraid of that change.  Sadly, I truly believed that I could represent my “Muslim side” at the masjid, and my “societal side” at school and be completely happy. I claimed to be proud of being a Muslim, yet was still ashamed of wearing the hijab at school. I claimed to be proud of having Mike, yet was utterly embarrassed of telling the sisters at themasjid about him. At this point, I was having a personal jihad, or internal struggle, with my identity. It seemed like no matter what I did, I was not satisfied with myself. I wanted to fully commit myself to Islam, but at the same time, I was not willing to give up the worldly pleasures of this life. I was not willing to give up the westernized wardrobe that I had developed such an attachment to. Nor was I willing to give up the level of comfort I had with my male friends. I enjoyed embracing them and hanging out with them outside of school. I wanted the best of both worlds. Most importantly, the one factor I felt like I simply could not give up was Mike.
I wish I had an amazing story to tell about my journey to hijab, but in all honesty, I don’t. During the spring break of 2009, I had just come back from a wonderful Muslim camp, and afterwards, I decided to go to Friday prayer with my younger sister at the masjid. After Friday prayer, my mom called me to pick up her prescription from Giant. I decided to leave my hijab on going into the grocery store. It was a pretty neutral experience, considering I did not see anyone I knew there. That same day, my sister and I decided to go to the mall. My younger sister has been wearing hijab since middle school, so I remember her watching me curiously as I decided to give the hijab a try at the mall. Again, it was a neutral experience, and I did not feel dramatically different. That same night, an old friend, who also recently started wearing the hijab, asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with her. I accepted, and decided to wear the hijab to dinner. Going there, I had no intentions of wearing the hijab forever; I was just trying it out. However, my friend, after seeing me, gave me some words of encouragement, reminding me that one cannot go wrong by following God’s commands. What is this world in comparison to the Hereafter? She left me with some food for thought, that last Sunday night of spring break. I remember tossing and turning sleeplessly that night in my bed, struggling with the decision of “to veil or not to veil.” It was that night that I realized that I could not pretend to be two different people. Knowing that I had to choose who I wanted to be ate me alive. Deep down inside, I knew that deciding to wear the hijab meant sacrificing many of the worldly pleasures which I was so engulfed in, including Mike. Why was he my major concern? Who am I ultimately trying to please in my life? Who should I ultimately be trying to please in my life? I came to the harsh realization that if it was not for Mike, the decision to wear the hijab would not have been as difficult. Yes, I liked him, but don’t I love Allah, or God, more? Yes, my entire high school career I have been trying to please, attract, and catch his attention, but wasn’t it time I try to please Allah? Wasn’t it time I stop living for others and start living for Him, the Creator of all things? I genuinely felt that internal struggle of jihad in me that night, but alhamdulillah (all praise is due to God); I awoke that morning ready for my first day of hijab. 
I realized that living a double life was an absolute bizarre and selfish theory of mine. I could not possibly worship Allah and fully submit to Islam without sacrifice, even if that sacrifice meant giving up things I loved. My newfound goal was to aim to please my Lord, and Him only.  As expected, Mike did not handle my decision to wear thehijab very well. His initial reaction was confusion, then anger. Although I was not surprised by his discouragement, I was hurt and as a result, decided to avoid him. Neither of us knew how to handle our “relationship”, or whatever we had going on, with my new changes, which led to us not speaking for two months. As time went on and it came close to graduation, I took the first step and told him I did not want to end things on a bad note, considering we both probably would not see each other as often anymore. Although we went back to being friends, it was clear that things were not the same to any further extent, nor were they going to be.
Although I now realize and acknowledge that many of the decisions I made in high school were contradicting to my Islamic beliefs, I realized that I would not appreciate Islam the way I do today if it weren’t for those experiences. Little did I know that a simple piece of cloth would change my entire view on the purpose of life. I have truly begun to develop a sincere love for the hijab. My identity is not only internal, but can now be seen externally, for I am almost right away recognized as a Muslim woman. People now appreciate me for who I am, not what I am. “My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety” (A Letter to the Culture). No longer do I get dressed in the morning trying to attract a particular guy, or better yet American society in general. I now look at myself in the mirror, making sure I am dressed modestly, making sure that my Creator, Allah, is pleased with me. The only standards I now aim to meet are Allah’s.
 Before I “converted to hijab”, it was as though I did not want others to know who the real me was. Ironically, I myself did not even know who the real me was. Whenever I left the masjid, or left my house, it was though I left my true identity behind with me. Now, I cannot fathom going anywhere without my hijab. Through my experiences, I realized that I did not have to hide being Muslim. I realized that Islam was not just at home, the masjid, or at camp. Wearing the hijab has helped me to incorporate Islam throughout every aspect of my life.
In spite of all this, I cannot say that after deciding to wear the hijabthat my level of faith has been at a permanent high. I definitely have my ups and downs. There are days when I get frustrated because I cannot seem to wrap my hijab the right way, and ask myself why I even set myself up for such a big commitment. There are nights when I look through my old high school pictures, which I still refuse to delete, and reminisce. I sometimes refer to those days as when “life was easy,” but what I fail to realize is that those photographs only show what was on the outside of me and those photographs show me dancing with the only guy I wanted to be dancing with at prom. Then again, I have to remind myself that this is the same guy who was not in favor of me covering although he knew it was what I wanted for myself. This was the same guy that did not support, or at least respect my decision, when I needed it the most. There are days when I still have to really convince myself not to text him to see how he is doing, because if he cared, he would contact me.
In the end, I still believe it is all worth it. It has taught me self discipline. No matter how difficult it gets, the fact that I am striving to fulfill a commandment set by my Lord is enough for me. I have to always remind myself that, “Islam is not a state of being but it is a process of becoming,” a quote attributed by Yusuf Islam, a prominent convert to Islam. Therefore, by wearing the hijab, I am not saying to others that “I am Islam,” but rather “I am a Muslim” (Taking Off). I feel as if I have embraced Islam in an entirely new light, and I am truly satisfied with my decision to fully commit to my faith. My passion for Islam has grown drastically throughout the short time frame of the past two years. I no longer allow American society to control my motives in life. Allah is my motive in life. The Hereafter is my motive in life. I schedule my day around prayer times, not prayer times around my day. I now try my best to remember that Allah is the Most-Merciful, and the Most Forgiving, and that He loves those who repent. I hope and pray that Allah continues to forgive me as I will continue to sin, for I am only human.